Do you ever put off something you want to do because of fear? I do.
I’ve wanted to walk in the Gualala River during dry season for years, but have never done it for fear of sliding down the steep embankment and not being able to climb back up.
I was recently walking down by that river and a little internal voice told me today was the day and prayed I wouldn’t get hurt.
I found a walking stick which helped me navigate the precipitous slope; however, I did slide down the last ten feet, thankfully without injury.
I felt so blessed to see the striking white stones, clear water and colorful floating leaves. I even saw eight baby common merganser ducklings behind their mother swim just a few feet from me.
The only people on the river besides me were a young couple with an infant. I assumed they had found a better trail, but when asked, they told me they had slid down too, clutching their baby.
On my return I prayed, “If there’s another easier way to get back up, please show me, Lord.”
But I ended up at the same exact trail. I had a lot of trouble trying to climb back up until a little internal voice suggested I move to the left. There I found a connecting trail with a black rope that was difficult to see against the dark brown soil. It was connected to a tree higher up the bank which enabled me to easily climb back up without incident.
What did I learn?
The internal still, small voice is occasionally The Divine nudging us to overcome our fears and truly trust Spirit.
I’ve been reading the story of Jesus’s first miracle — changing water into wine — at the wedding in Cana.
I’ve never thought of Mary as an overbearing, bossy mother, but in this situation, she is.
Most depictions of Mary are of a teenage girl pulling back timidly from Gabriel’s annunciation, or of her glowing face as she holds the baby Jesus. Even when she cradles the adult Jesus, dead in her lap, she appears youthful and demure.
But by the time Jesus began his ministry, she was middle-aged, her husband had died years before and she had her hands full taking care of the Son of God.
When she told Jesus at the wedding: “Do something! The wine is gone and there’s plenty of celebrating left to go,”
Jesus replied, “I’m not ready. Don’t push me.”
But she overruled him, telling the servants to follow Jesus’s instructions, even though he hadn’t planned on giving any — and he obeyed her.
I realized Mary was bossing God around! And I thought: how often do I do that? Tell God what to do and how to do it as I pray for various outcomes? Don’t I trust God to know what’s best for everyone involved?
This speaks to the humanity of Mary, Jesus and all of us: to follow or question, to push back or go forward.
We will eventually know what to do in each situation: either our inner voice will tell us, or someone we know and trust will push us into the right decision.
Sondra Sula's Blog: The Nature of Spirituality 